New Leaf Magazine

During grief, families often find themselves arguing over things that are just things. Susan Smith, editor and writer, tells a story about uniting two brothers and the power of forgiveness. Life is short and relationships are precious. Perhaps this story will soften your heart and help you think about those you need to forgive.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time—often one baby-step at a time—and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

Jesse Flynn, children's writer, life-coach and grief specialist, writes about Cremation as an option. She writes: I applaud having such choices and so do most religions. Nevertheless, as a grief counselor, my one word of caution warns about the importance of observing funeral rituals, such as a wake or viewing, where people can see the body of the person who died and know the reality of the death. In our sanitized world, this may seem unnecessary and even uncomfortable, but these rituals hold great psychological value. Providing friends and family with the opportunity to “pay their respects,” is especially emotionally supportive for those who mourn. Sharing in a memorial service at the funeral home or place of worship feeds the spiritual need we all have to honor the significance of the life of our person who died. Then, after remembering our loved one, acknowledging that person’s life through stories, tears, and laughter … ideally … then, the cremation can take place. 

Reverend Dick Gilbert is a grief specialist and he shares a story about his personal experience with grief and how it can make you think you are crazy. Dick will assure you that you are not. Grief just has a way of messing with our mind, spirit and body.

The brand new pastor and his wife, newly assigned to their first ministry to reopen a church in suburban Brooklyn, arrived in early October excited about their opportunities. When they saw their church, it was very run down and needed much work. They set a goal to have everything done in time to have their first service on Christmas Eve.

Jeanine Brenner shares a beautiful story about how to give back through your pain. It is in giving that you receive the greatest gift and that is the gift of self worth, feeling like you make a difference in the lives of others and developing a new sense of self. If you choose share the gifts of the heart, the love support, friendship, kindness, giving spirit, etc. of your loved one with others, you can find hope again in living.

Jessie Flynn, writer, Life-Coach, and grief specialist, shares a story of loving devotion, double loss and invaluable support as she tells the story of a families battle with alzheimers disease and how this family cope. 

Are you grieving the loss of a person you love? If so, one thing you definitely do not need is a bunch of business changes to accomplish. Virtually every widow and widower tell me how exhausted emotionally and physically they feel, as well as completely overwhelmed by the business tasks that face them, especially in those first weeks and months following their loss. Jessie Flynn, writer, Life-Coach and Grief Specialist, provides practical ideas for coping with the many details that must be taken care of when someone you love dies.

Sherry Williams White, writer, nurse and grief specialist, met with a group of teenagers to discuss grief and loss. In this article, she shares the answers to questions they had about grief and what they thought would help them cope. She shares ideas they had for creating memorials and coping with the death of a friend or loved one.

Louanne Stanton writes, "I was once told that grief is like an overwhelming wave that washes you from your familiar shore. This powerful and all-consuming force tumbles you in a suffocating environment that cuts you emotionally, bangs you spiritually, and violates you physically. Then this wave spits you out on an unfamiliar beach and forces you to find a new way to live, a new way to survive." Learn how Louanne learned to be a survivor after the death of her husband.

Getting through the holiday season is tough for many of us, but those living with the loss of a loved one have the hardest time. The gap left by a loss is felt most poignantly during this traditional time of celebration, family reunion and family closeness. Holidays, like anniversaries, are by nature nostalgic, and even the happiest of memories are painful, not joyous, when we are grieving.

We may need extra help for surviving the holiday season if we are in the midst of grief. Following are a number of survival strategies. Using these suggestions won’t necessarily take your grief away, but they can help you manage your grief at a time of the year when the world is supposed to be joyous.

A poignant story written by Michael Domingas about the death of his wife and life partner. As a young widower with a young child, Michael shares how the sudden realization that he was no longer married jumped out at him. When he took his wedding vows, he thought it would be forever but that part that says, "till death do us part" had taken over his life and he shares how he survived. 

Men do cry. Deb Kosmer's poem takes a look at men and tears and how they are okay no matter how strong a man may think he is.

Sister Mauryeen O'Brien, grief specialist, shares some coping strategies for single parents as they face the holiday season. She provides simple ideas for keeping the holidays simple.

Being a single parent is not an easy job. It is even more difficult when your loved one has died and you are trying to deal with your own pain and grief as well as helping your children deal with their loss. Sister Mauryeen O'Brien, Grief Specialist, provides good, solid information for traveling this difficult journey.

My heart shatters and no one seems to hear ... though to me it is an agonizing sound. Hurt envelops me, Pain assaults me! How can others fail to notice?

God knew what He was doing, When He took my loved one home. His timing was just right, For me to be alone. Through seasons of His healing, Through all of my pain, The sun rose and set, Just like a healing rain.

God knew what He was doing, When He took my loved one home. His timing was just right, For me to be alone. Through seasons of His healing, Through all of my pain, The sun rose and set, Just like a healing rain.

For those who are grieving, hearing the name of their loved one who died validates that their loved one lived and that you remember. Suzanne Howell, writer and Christian Grief Counselor, writes:

Friends and family who are silent or who would change the subject  are demonstrating discomfort with talking about the deceased.  This reaction may come from a desire to help you. They think that by not talking about your deceased husband (sister, brother, father, mother, child or friend) they are keeping you from thinking about them. We have a very technical term to apply to that reasoning, "Hogwash"! Unfortunately, it may be up to you, the griever, to inform your friends that you need to think, talk and share memories about the deceased.

Rachael Zients, grieving child, mother, writer and grief specialist, shares the story about her Father's death and the book that her mother wrote about her after the death of her dad. Rachael shares with remarkable insight how she coped with her loss and how she has used it to help her be who she is today. She tells the story about her life as the little girl who drew upside down hearts until she learned to put her world back together again. 

Mother's Day and Father's Day present for those whose parents have died days of mixed feelings. Feelings that are integrated with sadness and heart tugs of longing to be with them to feelings of praise and adoration for they life they lived, what they taught you and  sometimes a smile on you face when you think about the funny things you shared. You might also long for the opportunity to make things different than they were and realize that you can not change the past. 

Tony Falzano, song writer and grief specialist writes about remembering our parents on those special days inspite of the fact they are not with us physically we can hold on to the legacy they left behind and honor them in how we live our lives.

Tony Falzano takes a look at why we are so caught up in understanding how people grieve. He takes a look at our curiosity about how public figures grieve in a way to help us understand our own pain and grief. He asks and answers questions that help us understand our own grief as we look at the grief of others. A few of the questions he addressed are:

What do we learn from outward expressions of grief? Could it be that it is necessary for people to share their grief because truth is, it relieves them of carrying their pain alone? And are we there in their last moments of need and life because truth is, it’s our duty to be of service for others during their time of helplessness and maybe hopelessness? And truth is; are we being taught so we can teach if it’s our turn to deal with and share our own sorrow and grief with others?

Sherry Williams White, writer, nurse and grief specialist, explains that grief is not just a bundle of emotional reactions but that it is, indeed, a physical response to the death of a loved one. Grief elicits physical, chemical changes in the body as one tries to adapt to loss of control and the many changes they must make in their lives. This information will help you understand that you are not going crazy and it will help you know what is normal about grief.

Richard Santore, author and editor, shares 10 suggestions or guideposts to help you find your way to hope, freedom and healing.  His coping strategies will give you peace of mind as you move through the journey of grief.

Ann Leach, writer, Life Coach and grief specialist, shares practical information to help you deal with releasing something of your loved one's that has been dear to you. It is never easy to let go but this simple story might give you some clues for making it easier.